:: stop right now thank you very much, i need somebody with a human touch
::
[x]MOOD - good
[x]MUSIC - Baccara - Yes Sir, I Can Boogie
thank you all for your comments :D :hug:
my day got slightly better... i went to WR on my way to pick up my new van and i saw Em just about to leave, she had gone to drop off my candy apple that i had left in her purse, so i got her to get it. so thanks so much Em, you rock. and thanks to mauro for phoning WR to get Marco to pick it up.
and thanks to Candice for calling me today, you rock :D you made me smile too which is great.
but my lovely day yesterday got even worse later.
there is a mouse in my room. or was. eiether way, we have mice in my house. i made my sister come into my room and we were poking around behing my dresser trying to find it. she swears she saw it. so yeah... lucky me! my dad came in and set a trap but we havnt caught the mouse yet. bah.... mice suck
so today has been a very interesting day to say the least. it's now 4:30, and i get off work at around 9. yet why am i here at home? good question.
i went to work today, it was raining, i had a headache and felt like shit. so i went and the liquidating company put in these new registers and theyre computers and what not, very 'hight tech' compared to the shitty old registers that they had before. i would rather use the shitty old registers thank you very much. anywhoo... i was having a shit time at work, i was just going 'why the fuck am i here?' so i went on break and i was sitting in the back room and i just started crying. i realized, that i shouldnt be there, that i needed to go home. now. Karen came to the back room and i said flat out, 'i'm going home, i dont care' but everytime i would call home no one would pick up.
so i went to the front and i decided that i better tell Mel that i was going home, rather than Nikki b/c i thought i should give her the heads up b/c she was closing and would be one cashier short without me, and shes always been more of my 'friend' than nikki.
big ass mistake.
i told Mel, and all she said to me was 'oh thats very nice of you to do that to us, thanks alot' ... hello? i'm standing here crying, and you have to be the biggest bitch to me and make me cry more? i just broke down and Karen saw and took me into the office and told me to sit and calm down. while i was in the office alone, she talked to the store manager who called nikki in to get her to talk to me and try to calm me down and get me to stay. but i'd finally gotten though to my home on the phone, and my sister was freaking out becasue my mom had just fallen in the garden and her hand that shes just had surgey on had split open and she was bleeding and freaking out. so i stared freaking out even more, so when nikki came in i was like, 'i need to go home NOW' so she drove me home.
and since i've been home, i've still been crying every so often, it's not even one thing thats making me cry, i just dont want to be at WR anymore. i want to stay there till the end, but the more i'm there the more it makes me want to cry. i want to finish the week there, b/c i have friday - sunday left to work, but i never want to set foot in there ever again.
and another thing is i was wearing my sweater this morning b/c it was raining and cold, but i took it off, and then in my panic and rush to leave, i left it there, and now i'm freaking out even more b/c it's my York sweater and i really like that sweater, my Grandma (aka Emily bought for my Grandma to give me) gave it to me for my birthday, and theyre fucking expensive.
i also feel bad b/c i just phoned to see if cristina who was suposed to be there at 4 could take it home for me could get it but i phoned and Karen was like 'shes not here, were kinda freaking out' which made me feel bad and made me want to go back, but then again i dont want to b/c i made a whole scene and Mel would be there and i dont want to see her, and also i dont want to be there when they realize that i didnt do like two hours worth of credit card slips right, b/c no one explained it right to me, i didnt keep the signed part b/c i thuoght karen said not to, i swear she didnt. so theyre totaly fucked when they find that out.
i'm really confused right now. i really want my sweater back. i could get jacob to pick it up the next time he works, but i have this gut feeling that it wont be there.
and i also ahve this feeling that everyone thinks i was just faking it, faking my moms accident too. that they all think that i just wanted to leave. i shouldnt care, b/c if i never go back, who gives a fuck.
i dont know what to do. i'm confused as hell. and i'm really really upset right now
[x]MOOD - bah
[x]MUSIC - Matt Good - Alert Status Red
there is a fly in my room, and no matter how hard i try to get it out, it's still here buzzing around. i hate flys.
i'm in a really fucking pissed mood, surprise surprise. even though i had a relativley good day, theres just one thing that reeealy pisses me off right now, nothing i can do about it at all, but its there, wont go away.
argh.
so i worked three insane days, saturday and sunday were not as nuts customer wise as friday, but were messy as hell and on both days we got out of the store like an hour and 45mins after we closed, which sucked ass. it's like your not alowed to have a life at all. who cares about your need to sleep or eat regular meals, or see your family when your not completely tired and ready to fall over. apparently not WR customers.
bah.. i'm really pissed off about this all. and it's more than this one event thats triggered my anger. it's made me more pissed off at things, and people who dont even know it, and i have no reason to be pissed off. i could never say to one of these people why i'm pissed off and why i feel this why, completley abandoned and not in controll. and even though it's not my life, i feel like i should step in and help them, even though they want to make mistakes on their own.
bah.
anywhoo.... i could write about this kind of shit forever, but i'm so fucking tired that i'm almost falling over, and i'm consistently spelling words wrong, so i shall just say that Wonderland today was fun. i went with a group or WR people, it was kinda a goodbye thing. there were only 8 of us, and we seemed to loose whole hours of time. like it's not like we were having so much fun, doing so much stuff that the time flew by, but instead the time flew by and we were doing stuff, but not alot. we went on a bunch of rides, and i went on allmost all but the ones at the very end. yes.. even though i hate the falling part of rollercoasters i did go on them. it was fun. i took some pictures, but half of them wont turn out b/c my film want loaded properly. i havent used an actual camera since my 16th birthday. now i need to use the rest of the film :( meh
holy shit! fucking York. So far, it will only let me enroll for HALF of my courses, i have two courses enrolled, the two sociology ones wihich is good b/c it's my major. but holy fucking shit. argh./ it's 8am and my day is already fucked. not only do i not have a ride to work, and my only way of getting there is an extremely unreliable transportation systemm, or an hour long walk, but i dont fucking want to go into work... ever.
fuck.
i just keep repeating that over and over again. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
::EDIT:: 12:30am
ok.. i i seriously just had like the shittest day ever.
but i got the york shit kinda figured out, i have a schedule with 27 credits so far, and i still have fridays off, but i'm not very happy with it all.
and then to top it all off i had to work.. it's fucking insane in there. the people are psychos. one) they cant read, READ THE DAMN SIGNS PEOPLE two) they are deaf, When we make closing announcements, that might possibly mean we are closing. i would like to have a sembelance of a life, sometimes i would like to go home. i do not enjoy being on cash an hour after we close. we cleaned like mad for 40mins then i left. Adam rocks, he let me leave :D my dad was sitting in the parkinglot with my pizza waiting for me to finish. i was hungry.
bah. i'm rambling again.
at least i didnt cry at work today, it was too busy. i made about $1000 an hour. and thats b/c everything is fucking 80% off.
argh.
sometimes you just need a hug to make you feel real.
[x]MOOD - drowsy
[x]MUSIC - Air - Sexy Boy
[x]READING -
so fucking tired
i worked the last three days, i have probably said 'July 11th' more in the last three days than i have any other date in my whole entire life.
my brother told me today that the store manager said that next week hes gonna start letting cashiers go. i know i only have three weeks left, but thats three weeks worth of money. he said that hes gonna keep only 6 or 7 cashiers. if it's just cashiers, not head cashiers and done by seniority then i'm ok, becasue i'm the most senior of the part time cashiers. that would leave the three daytime cashiers, jacob, michelle and i. but if it includes both, then i'm completley fucked, becasue all but one of the 4 head cashiers started before me. bah. meh. whatever. i'm going to stop obsessing about work.
ARGH. stupid msn kicked me off, and wont let me sign in, and this time it's not my computer, it's actual msn, yet when you click on 'help' it says all systems are active. stupid fuckers.
emily and i went and saw mean girls yesterday, twas a good movie. we had fun :D and we went to Dominions and got danishes for our dinner. whoo! cream cheese danishes. and the night before after work, a bunch of us went to Fire and Ice for dinner. it made me happy, we had a fun time, we chased geese in the pond beside the parking lot and then Leesa and i caught toads. but they peed on out hands.
bah
i really had something serious to say, like something meanigfull and full of interesting thoughts. but i'm just too fucking tired to think of anything more analytical or arresting than BAH!
i'll write more later, i'm off to go crash, and it's only 11:30, usually my nigh time is just starting
[x]MOOD - good
[x]MUSIC - Morrissey - Irish Blood English Heart
[x]READING - nothing, i finished HP#5... so sad
so..... i really have nothing to say. i guess this is just a post for the sake of posting. yay! mindless random crap!!
so, lifes ok. not great, not sad, just in the middle with ok. i'm working alot, the shifts are hell. i've contemplated quitting many many times. the contemplation of quitting always comes with a contemplation of suicide, but then i figue, why kill myself? i enjoy being myself, why not just lock some of the most annoying customers into the store and light a fire? someone who used to work at WR (Adam) asked me the other day when were we planning the big fire, which struck me as funny, becasue i'd been planning on a big fire for two years. but now i want to have a big glass smashing party first. mmmmmm... breaking glass :D
so anywhoo... i went to the dentist today, fun times. i saw the actual dentist for all of 30 seconds, the rest was this lady poking around with a very sharp thing in my mouth for 45 mins going 'your gums are very unhappy' or 'wow, i've never seen gums bleed this much' maybe it's becasue youre doing a whole lot of unnecessary poking with sharp stick thing in my mouth? you think?
i saw Mike B yesterday. i miss him. he came up behind me as i was getting a sign for some stupid lady who cant read to prove her that the sign said $12 not $10 and that she was dumb, and mike came up behind me and started tapping me going 'can you help me? can you help me?' i almost punched him, then i realized that it was him so i gave him a big ass hug, asked him to please put me out of my misery and kill me, then ran back to fight with the dumb lady. .... thats about it.
yeah... thats about all thats going on in my mundane life. FUN TIMES. i need to go shopping or do something completely un work related.
::EDIT:: ok, i forgot to mention this :D my dad bought me tickets to the Porto FC v Liverpool FC game in july :D my dad rocks!! i never asked him to, he just went and bought them. yay!! now i shall get to see a real soccer game.
:: it's painful, but it's worth it becasue your so foxy and i think youre kinda good for me
::
[x]MOOD - great
[x]MUSIC - No Doubt - You're
[x]READING - HP#5
the NxD/Blink concert was fucking amazing.
well that generally sums it up, but i feel i need to elaborate.
first off, the fucking people at the gate wouldnt let me bring my camera in. ihopeyoufuckingchokeanddie. that was a major piss off. i have never not been allowed to have a camera. in canada they left you in with it. bah. stupid.
anyways. the opening act, the living end. one, sucked. and two, was so damm loud that my ear still huts. not a 'ringing i went to a lound concert' hurt, but a 'ow someone stuck a sharp object into my ear' hurt. anyways, they were only on for a short time. moving on. i thought NxD would open, but when we got there and were walking to our seats, i could see the blink logo behind the curtain, so i was so excited b/c that meant that NxD was closing. and i was kinda worried that the crowd wouldnt get into the NxD preformace becasue everyone seemed to be wearing Blink shirts and they all looked like Blink fans. but when Blink went on, the stadium was like a third empty.
i thought i wouldnt enjoy the blink part of the concert, but i was wrong. they were great. they gained my respect as preformers.
and travis. is. a. god.
holy shit, he can play. they had this part before the encore where they had this drum set that came out of a little stage like thing near the middle back of the theater, and he did this drumming solo. holy shit. he was good. they were all good. i thought it would all be adolesent humor and a mediocre show, but yes there was some of that humor, but they have matured and it shows with some of the new music.
a cool part of the show was where some kid in the first row of the seats, behind the small pit had a sign that said something like 'can i have some drum sticks' so mark pointed him out and travis gave mark the sticks, and as mark was calling for a gard or someone to give the sticks to the kid, Tom started egging him on saying that mark was afraid of the children, so mark put down his bass and jumped into the crowd.
the best songs form them were a bunch of the old ones all played at once near the end. 'Tidal Waves', the whole theater was getting dark because the sun was finally setting, and they used blue lights and it was very mello and felt good. 'Adams song' that song always made me sad, and the crowds reaction to it was great. there were more, but i forget :D
during the whole blink part, everyone was staning on their feet, becasue you wouldnt be able to see if you didnt stand, but no one was really jumping around with the exception of a few groups of people. but then NxD started.
when NxD came out, they came out to a recording of Queens 'We Will Rock You' and Gwen said something about this being a sinles tour or whatever, then they started with 'Just a Girl'. and from that point on the whole concert was fucking amazing. it put me on this euphoric high, i was oblivious to those around me, i was just singing my heart out and jumping and dancing my ass off. as was the rest of the crowd. i didnt think that the energy would be like that, but it was. even the lawn people were jumping. Gwen told us all to turn around and look at the lawn people and watch them all jump. they were going nuts. i wish i had been in the pit. that would have rocked.
a cool moment was when gwen droped to the floor infront of the pit, took someones camera, lay on her back and took a picture of them together mid song. i would have died if that happened to me. lucky bastard, one for smugguling a camera in and two for getting that chance.
best songs, well all of them :D but 'Undreneath it all' was great, everyone was really into it, and i was so pissed about not being able to bring my camera and tape some of the concert so i phoned my voice mail and i got half of UIA and most of Dont Speak on my voice mail. sounds kinda shitty becasue it's a crappy cell phone, but i can hear it and it reminds me of the amazing energy. 'Running' was awesome, becasue i am so in love with that song, and they did a very nice simple job of it. 'Simple Kind of Life' was done acoustically until the very end, so that sounded really nice, and then at the end everyone else came in, which made it all that much better. 'New' 'Hella Good' and 'Hey Baby' had everyone jumping around and dancing so hard, i wish i could go back just so that i could relive those songs. and of course the encore rocked as always. as usual they played 'Spiderwebs', and everyone went even more nuts and was jumping like crazy. during sipderwebs and the other encore song 'Sunday Morning' i was so happy, i felt like i was flying. i completely zoned out form the rest of the world, i didnt care how i looked jumping around like crazy, it was only me and no doubt it felt like. even now thinking about it i feel kinda zoned out :D maybe that or i'm hungry. meh. but the show was amazing.
i have more to say about the show and the trip in general, but i'm hungry and havent even been home an hour, so i'll do all that tomorow.
:: clows to the left of me, jokers to the right, here i am stuck in the middle with you
::
[x]MOOD - good
[x]MUSIC - Bob Dylan - Stuck in the middle with you
[x]READING - same, HP#5
so.... it's been a long interesting week. lets recap shall we :D
Friday
i worked, then.....
HARRY POTTER!! AHHH!
yeah so a group of us from work plus my sister went and saw Harry Potter friday night, where we also met up with another group of people from WR. the movie was great, except i have like a huge big ass rant about it. If youre gonna make a series of movies, that are based on a series of books, you should probably try to keep things the same if not similar in all seven movies. i understand cast changes and minor changes, but you dont go and change the whole damm set!! the whole bloody castle was completely different! and dumbledore looked like a hoboe! arrrgh. but anyways, good movie, the technical things like shots and graphics were great :D
Saturday
i worked again. then i went over to leesas house where we had a BBQ before heading over to the remaints of the Unionville fest. and saw the fire works. 'twas fun. Mauro found us some rocks to sit on right on the waters edge so we had a great view.
Sunday
again i worked, but left three hours early!! WHOO!! to go see cristinas ballet recital. she was very good :D very very pretty :D the whole thing was ok.
Monday
i recovered from my suddenly budding social life, i *gasp* went out of the house with people three days in a row. wow :D so yeah, i honestly have no idea what i did on monday.
Tuesday
the weather decided to spike at like 30 and very very Humid. so guess who had to work? moi. i think i spent the whole day slacking and avoiding work with Mauro or Jacob. then Emily came in to start her shift and brought me this chocolate cold drink from second cup, and i almost jumped her out of excitemet. chocolate. cold. drink. mmmmmmmm
Wednesday
same as tuesday. fucking hot and humid. i drank a shit load of water, and avoided work with mauro again. but then suddenly, it started to rain, so mauro and i sat on the cement behind the store in the rain, but then the managers saw us and were gonna give mauro jobs to do so we went to the front of the store and stood in a circle in the pouring rain with a gruop of other employees. then sadly, the rain stopped :( it was only a 5 min shower. it only started raining again after we closed :( bah
Thursday
did laundry and started to get ready for my trip tomorow. i still have one more ticket if anyone wants to come.
[x]MOOD - great
[x]MUSIC - Dave Matthews - Gravedigger
[x]READING - 5th harry potter book
you had to know this was coming eventually. i read emily and dom's journals where they both listed memories from White Rose. so here i am making my own list. i'll try not to repeat them, but sometimes you cant help it. so the good times from the past two years at wr. hey.. i just realized that today, june 3rd, is my two year anniversary at WR. .... scary.
onward ho!
- my first shift was ok. i was soo tired after. and the manager Robyn was such a bitch. i think only cristina knew her, she quit before i got everyone hired.
- working with Mike B being the only other cashier, and the AC being broken. but we still had a killer time.
- the head cashier Shika looking out for me and letting me keep the money that i was over at the end of the shift. she rocked.
- us going bankrupt like two weeks after i got hired. and people telling me that it was my fault that we were bankrupt. the crazy insane summer that followed. so busy and hectic.
- after the whole bankrupcy thing, having only three cashiers left. Cristina, mike and me. that was INSANE. so i got jacob, emily and candice hired. that rocked. and on jacobs first shift we had to like tear apart the from cashies. the store manager tony was like, i want those clean enough to eat off of. and stupid Adam left jacob alone on cash, and then jacob pressed the US cash button b/c adam left him alone. dumb ass.
- emilys first shift :D i switched shifts with jacob so i could train her, and anita freaked out b/c there was no carry out so i had to do the carryouts. lots of memories from that shift. the crazy bed and breakfast lady. emilys buggy run where she put all the carts in the middle of the parking lot. fun.
- the clearance tent. it was this tent filled with shitty clearance stuff, and it was so hot and stuffy and BORING. you would just sit there and do nothing. which is ok, but it was lonely
- Steve - there is sooo much i could say about steve. he was the best fucking manager ever. i used to work thursdays with steve angela and cristina. those rocked. steve would do his barry white closing anouncements, he had a killer Tony the store manager impression. he told great stories. i remeber the time when we were working on a haloween and we were unpacking clay pots, and we kept on throwing them around. he always called me his 'little buddy' and gave me a hug. then on a boxing day, he was drunk and he kissed me on the cheek. then he went to rehab. then he came back and i saw him like once, then he quit. i miss him.
- when WR was actually doing well and we got great stuff in, that was like a whole year of good times.
- christmas. i have never wanted to kill myself more. the stupid same half an hour of stupid christmas carols over and over and over again. and then we would have an outside cash, and you would be standing still in freezing weather ringing through christmas trees. IT SUCKED.
- all those holidays where only we seemed to be open
- stupid customers. example. i was staning in indoor plants watering. customer. 'do you sell plants' me 'yes' customer 'real ones?'
- when cristina was told to water indoor plants and came back 5 mins later soaked. she really cant water. or when mike B was watering indoor plants and he decided to water with a hose, and the front cashes got flooded.
- when we had a bitchy customer when we were bankrupt the first time, and they wanted their money back, and we said we dont give money back, we never have, you can have a credit. and they bitched for sooo long that steve took the like $1 out of his pocket and gave it to them.
- when angela and steve were working at canada blooms and i went and visited and they gave me 'ferns' badge to wear. fern was like the VP of WR. we had so much fun, even though i wanst suposed to be there.
- all the stuff with Angela. her bridal shower. he wedding. everything.
- when hot Tim made cookies at christmas and left them for everyone to eat. mmmm... hot tim... mmmmm.
- Pass the Buck or the transplat coupon thingy. every time you sell transplanter fluid and get the customer to fill out a form, you get 50 cents. that rocked! i earned some good lunch money :D
- getting my ex hired then having him break up with me then having to work with him for like two weeks more. no wait. how is that a happy memory. oh yeah. Kristie was a total bitch to him b/c he broke up with me :D yay!
- all the 'eric' drama....
- Dave and me throwing cell packs of flowers at each other :D
- knowing all these pointless codes that i will never have to use again. like 19552(top soil) 19555(tripple mix) 28214(impatients) 28216(flowers) 28218(vegetables) 28224(geraniums) 28220(herbs) 28238(10" hanging baskets) 28239(12" baskets) 28230 (flowers) and many many more
- when katie stood at the exit way of WRasking customers if they had a lighter. and when nikki hunted around the store asking everyone if they had a lighter. and the whole time we sold lighters for BBQ's :D
- getting a 'Good Stuff' point from clare for training new cashiers. i still have it in my wallet, though to this day i couldnt tell you who the hell i trained
- katie getting promoted instead of me
- Cornell Park's "Art in the Park"
- the shifts from january till like march, where the store was dead and there would be like three or four people running the whole store.
- becoming friends with like eveyone i work with.
- even though i've worked there for a long time, for two years i've been telling customers that i'm new as an excuse for not knowing anything
- stupid customers who expect you to know every singe thing there is about plants/fertilizer/soils/crafts/home decor, and getting pissed off when you dont know and wanting someone else to help and expecting you to spend your whole shift helping them. customers bitching at you.
- in both bankrupcies having customers bitch at you becasue they cant use credits or gift certificates. having customers bitch at you about everything. getting into full blown arguments about anything and everything with dumb ignorant customers who thijnk the world revolves around them and that casiers arnt real people and have no emotions and when they call you dumb or blame everything on you, expect you to still be plesant to them
- stupid people wanting a deal on their already reduced items
- this stupid couple i had at the outside cash a few weeks ago who had me ring everything up and then said 'i dont want it, this isnt a sale at all. this whole thing is a gimmick, you just want our money' so i'm not loosing my job! thanks lady.
- the 'are you bankrupt' 'when are you closing' 'why are you bankrup' 'where is your washroom?' 'can you tell me about *insert random plant name here*' 'can you bend over backwards and make your life hell so that i can get like 0.00001% off of my purchase'
- when we went bankrupt and leesa and i had to peel all the sale stickers off the fake flowers, we have literally hundreds of them. we sat on cushions and talked for what seemed like hours while peeling the stickers off
- wearing a nametag and having customers come up to you and being like 'so Sarah..' and saying your name as much as humanly possible in a sentence. bastards. hence why i dont wear a name tag.
- when we lost all our big brooms (they were stolen) and the manager Loyd (none of you will rememebr them) and i had to sweep the whole fucking huge store with the stupid little brooms.
- when this hot carryout (cant remember his name right now) and i were on break sitting behind WR and the manager Loyd and his gf a cashier Carla came out and had a big fight and did not see us. and we sat there going, should we make a noise? finally we coughed or something and they saw us and left really fast. then later loyd went up to the hot carryout and was like 'keep it to yourself'
- when the hot carryout and i found a $50 bill in the middle compound. :D a $25 bonus for each of us
- Mauro and i starting our cult :D we all wear bells. we havnt thought of a reason or a name for a cult but we already have many members :D
- when candice and i were cleaning the clearance racks and a dead bird fell onto us, so we quickly put it into a garbage bag. then when we were dragging the bags (bag idea, garbage bags are made out of plasitc) to the garbage bins the bag broke when we go there and the dead bird fell out again. and candice who is afraid of birds freaked :D
- last summer when the lines went down on nkki and my cashes outside, then the lines went down inside and we had to do all of the bills manually (by hand) and no debit and credits the old way, making imprints of them
- the mouse and larve incident that i talked about a few posts ago
- going bankrupt for a second time, and becoming friends with all the 'old' people i work with, the people whove been there like a year or so. we now all go out together and are total geeks. tomorow were gonna see harry potter.
i could write sooo much more, but emily just told me that this is like an essay. so i'll stop for now. i may end up writing more when we actually close.
:: erase and rewind, 'cause i've been chaning my mind
::
[x]MOOD - tired
[x]MUSIC - Cardigans - Erase/Rewind
[x]READING - 5th Harry Potter Book
hey.... does anyone want to come with me to this concert?
Chicks with Attitude with Liz Phair the Cardigans & More
Kool Haus, Toronto, ON
Sat, Aug 28, 2004 08:00 PM
I could care less for Liz Phair and any of the other people who are preforming, but the Cardigans rock and it would be cool to see them . Tickets are 20.50.
it's just an idea. i just want to have fun this summer and do as much stuff as i can.
name: Sarah Louise
age: 18
birthday: November 21home: toronto
nationality: canadian school: York University
status:Singlework: unemployed height:5'2 eye color:brown/topaz hair color:Brown but
dyedBLACK as INK
